tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12703782.post112302492500538868..comments2020-04-11T03:30:02.282-05:00Gary R. Welshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15185079937305083438noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12703782.post-1141892844757711282006-03-09T03:27:00.000-05:002006-03-09T03:27:00.000-05:00Another way of viewing outing is truth-telling. The opposite of telling the truth is lying. We as a people developed this habit of lying as a form of self-preservation in times when being known as gay would routinely result in harm being done to the gay person. We lied one for the other in mutual fashion, creating an unspoken coded pact of self-preservation.<BR/><BR/>But another way of looking at this lying is through the self-defeating, self-deprecating lens of the closet, otherwise known as "passing" -- a lie that perpetuates the negative stereotyping in which it is rooted, divides the community into the "good gays" who can pass and the "bad gays" who can't, and ultimately shreds the self-respect and even the very souls of those who pass.<BR/><BR/>This passing is part of an old form of self-oppression based in the Gestaltianly very understandable inability of people to handle the fact that something immutable within themselves is the reason for their being oppressed. People need to feel some measure of control over their destinies and will prefer a fictional controllable reason for oppression -- in this case refusing to pass and "acting gay" -- over the reality that it is their being gay that is hated no matter how they behave.<BR/><BR/>The oppressor, as anti-gay straight society did, eventually figures out that, by the use of random negative reinforcement, they can maneuver the oppressed into doing the oppressors' job of oppressing for them -- as we've done for years to those who've "acted too gay" or, worse, violated the rules about passing by outing others.<BR/><BR/>Lying in and of itself is damaging to people. I have always said that, unless I have individually agreed otherwise, I will only lie in this regard to protect underaged youths and similarly vulnerable people from harm. I have a right to do my best to be honest and moral and that no one has a moral right to demand that I lie for them or anyone else -- especially when I haven't agreed to it based on a personal understanding that not to lie would result in more harm than good.<BR/><BR/>It is time to hold the oppressors responsible for their oppression instead of facilitating it by oppressing ourselves. What results will then be a part of their karmic load, where it belongs. In practical terms, if someone doesn't want me to tell the truth about them, they should either make sure I don't know it or get my promise not to divulge it in advance.Marla R. Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17302849430351280361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12703782.post-1141892787321221062006-03-09T03:26:00.000-05:002006-03-09T03:26:00.000-05:00Another way of viewing outing is truth-telling. The opposite of telling the truth is lying. We as a people developed this habit of lying as a form of self-preservation in times when being known as gay would routinely result in harm being done to the gay person. We lied one for the other in mutual fashion, creating an unspoken coded pact of self-preservation.<BR/><BR/>But another way of looking at this lying is through the self-defeating, self-deprecating lens of the closet, otherwise known as "passing" -- a lie that perpetuates the negative stereotyping in which it is rooted, divides the community into the "good gays" who can pass and the "bad gays" who can't, and ultimately shreds the self-respect and even the very souls of those who pass.<BR/><BR/>This passing is part of an old form of self-oppression based in the Gestaltianly very understandable inability of people to handle the fact that something immutable within themselves is the reason for their being oppressed. People need to feel some measure of control over their destinies and will prefer a fictional controllable reason for oppression -- in this case refusing to pass and "acting gay" -- over the reality that it is their being gay that is hated no matter how they behave.<BR/><BR/>The oppressor, as anti-gay straight society did, eventually figures out that, by the use of random negative reinforcement, they can maneuver the oppressed into doing the oppressors' job of oppressing for them -- as we've done for years to those who've "acted too gay" or, worse, violated the rules about passing by outing others.<BR/><BR/>Lying in and of itself is damaging to people. I have always said that, unless I have individually agreed otherwise, I will only lie in this regard to protect underaged youths and similarly vulnerable people from harm. I have a right to do my best to be honest and moral and that no one has a moral right to demand that I lie for them or anyone else -- especially when I haven't agreed to it based on a personal understanding that not to lie would result in more harm than good.<BR/><BR/>It is time to hold the oppressors responsible for their oppression instead of facilitating it by oppressing ourselves. What results will then be a part of their karmic load, where it belongs. In practical terms, if someone doesn't want me to tell the truth about them, they should either make sure I don't know it or get my promise not to divulge it in advance.Marla R. Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17302849430351280361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12703782.post-1123710088015593652005-08-10T16:41:00.000-05:002005-08-10T16:41:00.000-05:00I say bring it on. Out all of those hypocrites.torporindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15056537189685125961noreply@blogger.com