Comments on Advance Indiana™: Wishard Experiences Conveniently-Timed Steam Pipe Burst

1)Irsay gets released from the Psyche ward at Wish...

2009-10-24T08:51:30.339-05:00

1)Irsay gets released from the Psyche ward at Wishard. Claims Wishard is the new home of the Colts.

2)Doris M.M. transferred from Betty Ford Clinic to new midwest clinic at Wishard.

3)Newly installed brain scan machines at Wishard discover nothing inside most CIB members

4) Pat Bauer emerges from Obesity treatment center at Wishard, claiming Sugar Cream Pie really is fattening.

12. Matt Gutwein discovers the likeness of the Vir...

2009-10-24T06:23:19.293-05:00

12. Matt Gutwein discovers the likeness of the Virgin Mary on a wall near that broken steam pipe.

This calls for a top ten list of tragedies to ensu...

2009-10-23T23:11:48.796-05:00

This calls for a top ten list of tragedies to ensure passage of the Wishard referendum:

10) Another tanker explosion on I-465 but this one creates plenty of burn victims for treatment at Wishard's burn unit. (Gutwein to self--damnit, why did that EMT responder take the truck driver to Methodist instead of Wishard).

9) Swine flu sickness overwhelms Methodist and all trauma patients must be sent to Wishard.

8) Mayor Ballard is knocked unconscious at a Colts football game when he is struck by an out-of-bounds receiver from the opposing team while mingling on the sidelines with the Colts team. He's rushed to Wishard and receives outstanding treatment for his life-threatening brain injury.

7) Rumors abound that the ghost of Mel Simon can be seen walking the halls of Wishard and offering comfort to the sick and poor.

6) Researchers at Wishard discover that some vegetables grow better in a woman's vagina than loam soil, marking a major breakthrough in food production.

5) IUPUI offers a straight A report card to all students who vote "yes" on the refereundum.

4)A comet streaks across the sky as Gutwein deliver his 58th public meeting presentation on the Wishard referendum without asking anyone to vote "yes", a sure sign of good things to come.

3) Wishard researchers discover the missing link.

2) A shootout involving several Pacer players ends on a high note when Wishard dcotors save the life of a Pacer player struck in the head with a bullet in a crossfire of bullets outside a popular Indy strip club.

1) A major terrorist attack happens in downtown Indianapolis while President Obama is in town for a presidential visit. Obama stands in front of Wishard and makes profound statements about the wonderful response effort hospital officials made in saving scores of lives.

If you're going to stage these events, let'...

2009-10-23T22:41:22.954-05:00

If you're going to stage these events, let's at least have some blood shed. You know, everybody loves a blood-letting tragedy. Gutwein must have been so pissed off that they transferred the unfortunate FFA student who got caught in the escalator at Circle Center Mall (how many people has this happened to over the years?) to Methodist instead of Wishard. A real missed opportunity to exploit a tragedy for all of its value in the name of Wishard and its 145-year history, right? He could have wrapped the whole economic development thing into that argument as well. Darn it.

It's unthinkable they would merely replace the...

2009-10-23T17:41:01.331-05:00

It's unthinkable they would merely replace their steam lines. Heck, just build a whole now hospital. That's so much easier.

They sound woefully ill-equipped if they have no self contained autoclave units. That would be part of what's called an emergency backup plan. Evidently they don't have one.

Remember, this is a Level I trauma center. They couldn't allow themselves to be at the mercy of steam plant failures. Or could they?